“HOW IN THE NAME OF SWAMP-FUCKERY DID THIS STICKY SCALE SHIT HAPPEN AGAIN?” buck whooped as his entourage rushed through the Freys manor. Guards crawled from every door and hallway, shouting expletives and drawing weapons as the rag tag group followed their cleric through the home.
The cleric took a sharp turn left up a flight of stairs. Behind him, boots wriggled his way into the tight hallway, Chad hollering from above about how “radical” this was, a “totally gnarly ride”
A guard charged Buck as he turned to the stairs, only to be evaded by the lizardfolk. A jade blade sprouted from his chest, and soon after the unfortunate scum dropped to the floor, dead.
“i MEAN SERIOUSLY” Buck wiped the blood from his sword, stomping his way up the stairs “I AM SO DONE WITH BEING A WANTED CRIMINAL”
“you were a wanted criminal?” squeaked the druid, eyes wide with curiousity
“THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT!” Buck shrieked as boiling oil began to flow from the ceiling.
It had all been so simple, the lizard folk thought to himself. No more assassins, no more fires, just a simple life cooking Kebabs by the ocean, only rousing to beat the occasional drunk into paying for his food. Life was stress free.
Hell, even the first forray back into adventure with his new friends was a joy. A simple life on the road, rowdy taverns with good food. and Melted cheese pots! The joy of that meal nearly making up for the tragedy that followed.
If only the cleric hadn’t challenged that noble.
If only the rest of the group hadn’t gone in after him!
“WE COULD HAVE JUST LEFT” Shouted Buck. The cleric eyed him, then snapped his fingers.
Buck continued to roar, only, silently. The others could feel the strength of his voice, but magic muffled the tantrum.
The door opened, revealing a freshly awoken Margret Frey.
She seemed more annoyed than angry.
The group quickly tried to sign to one another on what to do. Their mime-ry quickly turned to unintelligable flailing.
The cleric quickly dispelled his magic
“-AND FUCK THOSE GOD DAMN SHIT DWELLERS WHO BROUGHT US HERE” Finished buck.
the party looked at him. Then back into the room.
All their options considered, the party quickly executed the most sensible plan.
They grabbed the cup.
And jumped out the window.